“What angers us in another person
is more often than not an unhealed aspect of ourselves.
If we had already resolved that particular issue,
we would not be irritated by its reflection back to us.”
~ Simon Peter Fuller ~

I was in my mid thirties when my father and I started a business together. One particular day we had been having several disagreements and when I got home that evening I began to spout off to my wife just how unreasonable may father was. I went on about this and that, pointing out all the flaws in my fathers’ personality. I was irritated and just could not understand how anyone could be like that. With a warm and caring smile my wife replied, “You are just like him.” I realized that she was right.

That started an inner soul searching that continues today nearly fifteen years later. Without fail anytime I notice a particular trait in someone that irritates me or make me judgmental of that person, it is also a trait of my own personality.

A short time after this particular episode with my father, we were engaged in another disagreement. I thought this would be a good time to put to use my newfound wisdom. I said to my father, “I know just how you feel Pop, because I’m just like you.” To which my father replied, “Son, I getting sick and tired of you throwing that up in my face!” (-:

“I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and
90 % how I react to it.”
-Charles Swindell

During the early 1990’s I was the operations manager for a large industrial tire distributor. I was having a particularly bad day and my boss Robert having sensed this, (I think my temper tantrum was a dead giveaway) called me into his office. Robert asked me two questions; he said, “#1 are you going to die from it?” I said, “Excuse me.” He said, “this thing that has you so upset, is it going to kill you? And question #2 is it going to affect your family?”

“Well” I said, “No It’s not.” “Then why are you letting it boil your blood?” he asked.” He turned and pointed to a rather large bottle of antacids on a shelf behind his desk. “I used to consume a bottle of those antacids a month.” He replied. “Until I learned that there are some things that are not worth getting upset about. Now go back to work and take care of this issue with a different mindset.” I never forgot that lesson and coming from a boss who is six years younger than I am.

Thought for Today

“The Gift of Giving is the Best Gift We Have Been Given.”

© 2007 Charley Hoke

For most of my working career, I have been in sales/customer service, from direct sales to retail. I have sold insurance and vacuum cleaners door to door, sold automobiles and forklift tires. I have done advertising, marketing, consulting, and have had various management positions. My very first job, when I was about 9 years old, was delivering newspapers in my neighborhood. I learned a very valuable lesson in the importance of customer service with this job, one that has stayed with me for nearly forty years.

Instead of just tossing the paper in the front yard, like the paperboys before me had done, I carried the paper and placed it on the stoop or front porch. If it was raining, I made sure I put it in a dry spot. If they had a dog who thought the paper was his toy, I made sure it was out of his reach. This was my business now and I wanted to do the best job I possibly could. At least that was what my dad said I wanted to do. (-:

As time went by those that really appreciated the extra service would often greet me at the door with a reward of fresh baked cookies and other treats. When cold weather came I received a new pair of mittens, a hat, and scarf, and then at Christmas, there were presents. I was starting to like this business! However, things were about to change.

I was feeling particularly sad one day and my dad asked me why. “Nobody likes me any more”. I said. “What do you mean?” he said. “Nobody is giving me cookies any more. I used to get cookies every day, now I only get cookies from old Lady Carsons. And that’s only when I carry her paper to her door.” My dad said, “What do you mean son? I thought you carried her paper to her door every day.” “I used to” I said “But she smells kinda funny, and she always wants to hug and kiss me.”

“You know Mrs. Carsons is old and not in the best of health.” My dad said, “She depends on you to help her out so that she doesn’t have to walk across the yard and risk falling and hurting herself. You have let her down, and you have let me down.” Hearing these words I began to cry, “I’m sorry dad I Didn’t mean to let you down.” He asked me if I had stopped taking anyone else’s paper to their door as well.” With tears streaming down my face, I looked at him with fear because I knew I was going to let him down again as I slowly nodded my head yes. “Why did you do this?” He asked.

With a trembling voice and a sniffle I said, “Well you see dad it’s like this, the first ones that I stopped doing this for were the ones who never gave me nothing, I mean other people was giving me some neat stuff, and other people was just being selfish I guess. Then it just got to where it wasn’t worth it anyways, unless I was really hungry and that’s when I go and take old Lady Carsons her paper, and ask her if I can have a cookie.”

I was nearly scared out of my skin when my dad shouted, “You Did What?” “I didn’t mean too.” I cried, not sure what I had done, I just knew I had let my dad down, again. Except this time, he was very angry.

He looked at me and said, “First things first, you already receive a weekly pay from the newspaper for doing your job, which is delivering the paper to the homes in the neighborhood. No one should ever be required, or asked to give you anything else.”

“It is you who is the selfish one son.” He continued, “But” I said, “I did these people a favor and they didn’t preciate me!” “No, that’s not true.” He Said. “You provided an extra service because it made you feel good; when you began to receive gifts you became greedy and selfish. You began to think only those giving you gifts were worthy of your extra service. While it is true that some do not need your service, others do, and it is these people that you have let down the most.”

“What you failed to realize.” Dad said, “You were not rewarded because you provided a service only to those who rewarded you, you were rewarded because you provided a service to everyone, including those who did not need it.” Then he smiled and nodded me a wink and said. “You know son you actually had a good thing going here. I bet if you were to start doing it again because it is right, and because it makes you feel good, that at the very least you would not be sad anymore.”

Dad was right, as he often was. I began providing my extra service to everyone, and I was not sad anymore. As time went by the gifts and cookies returned. I became the chubby little paper boy again. Old Lady Carsons died not too long after that, but she never had to go out to get her paper again, or her mail. (-:

Year later the rewards for those deeds on the paper route continued to come in. I had become a handy man doing odd jobs in the neighborhood. I worked for some of those same people who gave me gifts and cookies from those earlier days. More importantly, I was also working for those people who gave me nothing.

The lesson I learned from all this is, “Always give your customer more than they paid for, if they buy twelve apples, give them thirteen. The next time they want apples they will think of you first.

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

-Frederick Keonig

c 2007 Charley Hoke

One day a little dog was following his favorite trail when he stumbled upon a bone. It was a big bone too, and he was very excited to have found it. He carefully looked around to make sure no one was watching him, and then he picked up the bone and began his journey back home.

On his journey, he came to a bridge, and as he was crossing the bridge he looked down to see another dog with a bone in his mouth. He looked at the dog for a moment and thought, “I can beat this other dog and steal his bone, and then I will have two bones to take home instead of just one.”

“I am much bigger than he” thought the little dog, “I will just growl at him and he will drop his bone and run away.” So he growled and he growled. However, much to his surprise the other dog just stood there below the bridge looking back up at him.

Agitated and confused, he thought that maybe if he were to bark very loudly the other dog would then get scared and run away. He had been practicing his bark and knew this would surely work. However, he could not find a safe place to lay his bone, and not wanting to risk someone stealing it, he decided he could bark with the bone in his mouth.

Taking a very deep breath, and mustering all his strength, he let out the loudest most ferocious bark he could. Then he heard a loud splash, and when he looked down… he saw his bone sinking into his reflection in the water below.

Thought for Today

“Be kind. Every person you meet is fighting a difficult battle.”

-Author unknown

Recently while waiting for the traffic light to change I noticed someone who was trying to enter traffic from an adjacent parking lot. Driver after driver ignored her feeble attempts. She became frustrated. She was looking to make an attempt from a different approach. At this point, I was near the entryway so I honked my horn and motioned her to enter in front of me. By this time, two more cars also were looking to enter traffic here so I motioned for them to enter in front of me as well.

Now this so infuriated the driver behind me that he proceeded to give me the one finger wave. Now I really felt kinda bad for this fellow as I could plainly see the cherry red color in his face. I wondered if the next good deed I would perform was going to be CPR.

It was sad really, as I drove the rest of the way home I thought about what had just happened. I calculated that it took twenty, maybe thirty seconds to let these three drivers in front of me. Therefore, the worst-case scenario is that if I let 30 cars per week enter in front of me then the most I stand to lose is about one hour per week.

Thought for Today

” Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.”
-Samuel Levenson

I remember many years ago as a young boy, I was feeling blue one day, my dad seeing this asked if I wanted to know how to make my self feel better, so I said “sure.” So he very loudly clapped his hands in front of him, and with a broad smile he shouted “Boy Do I Feel Good!” And you know what, It worked. After doing this several times I completely forgot what I was blue about. Today many years later just thinking about these simple words can bring a smile to my face. (-:

Thought for Today
“Hard work does not kill, Worry does.”
African Proverb

©2007 Charley Hoke

I have a small rock I carry in my pocket, I call it a pocket rock. It is a round, flat rock about the size of a quarter, and about one quarter of an inch thick. The surface is very smooth and black in color with a small streak of white quartz running through the middle. It is a pleasing rock to look at and to hold. I have had this particular rock for about ten years. I met an old gentleman many years ago who gave me my first rock. He called it a worry rock, but it goes by many names. There are many legends that date back thousands of years, but the exact origin is debatable.

The purpose of a worry rock is to soothe you in times of stress, agitation, worry, etc… It should be a small rock to fit comfortably in your hand. By rubbing the rock between your index finger and thumb, it will relieve your stresses and tensions. The shape and texture are not as important as how the rock makes you feel. When you rub it, it should be soothing. Try closing you eyes as you rub it, and think of something pleasant.

For over twenty years, I have always had a rock in my pocket. In fact, I have several. Whenever I see some one who is having a bad day, I offer them a rock, just as the old gentleman did for me.

I read a story recently where someone called it a gratitude rock. He said every time he reached into his pocket and felt his rock, he thought of something for which he was grateful.

No matter what you call it, once you realize the power in a pocket rock you will always have one. Carry several; you never know when you will see someone in need.

Do You Need A Pocket Rock? Send an e-mail to, :pocketrock@homeinsteader.com

Thought for Today

“Today is the first day of the rest of my life.”

-John Denver

I have decided after many months of thinking about it that I will start a thought for the day type of thing here. I love quotes and telling stories so I guess this will be a good as place as any to share both. I hope you enjoy it here and if you have a particular thought, quote, or story that you would like to share please do. If I really like it I will make it a feature post and give you a link back to your site.

Thanks for visiting and have a great day.